No need for Tickling Charms.

(Special thanks to Unofficial Emma Watson, and Mugglenet!)

Some rejected Book 5 titles I found at

-Harry Potter And The Royal Mail Strike
-Harry Potter And The Gringott’s Bank Job
-Harry Potter And The Over-Hyped Film
-Harry Potter And The Clever Marketing Campaign
-Harry Potter And The Never Ending Stream Of Merchandise
-Harry Potter And The Spinning Grave Of Tolkien
-Harry Potter And The Long Lost Father - Mr. D Vader
-Harry Potter Solves Manchester United Defence Problem
-Harry Potter Repairs The Ozone Layer
-Harry Potter And The Raising Of The Titanic
-Harry Potter And The Lurve Potion No. 9
-Harry Potter And The Dragon’s Breath
-Harry Potter Scores a Hat Trick and wins the World Cup for England
-Harry Potter And The Broom of Doom
-Harry Potter And The Mysteries of Windows 2000
-Harry Potter Solves Third World Debt
-Harry Potter And The Enchanted Cheesegrater
-Harry Potter Launches His Own Cook-in-Sauce
-Harry Potter And The Freak Broom Handle Accident
-Ron Weasley and That Kid With The Scar
-Harry Potter and the Terrible Shock He Receives When Hermione Granger Finally Gets Credit For Saving The Day
-Harry Potter, In All 500 Pages Of This Book, Is Not Once In Mortal Peril
-Harry Potter Does Not Win The Quidditch Cup
-Harry Potter Becomes Rabid and Foams At The Mouth
-Harry Potter Misplaces His Brain
-Harry Potter Murders My French Teacher
-Harry Potter Learns Ron and Hermione's Birthdays
-No One Cares About Harry Potter Anymore, And Harry Likes It This Way
-Will The Real Harry Potter Please Stand Up?
-Breakfast at Harry's
-Harry Potter Reads the Harry Potter Book Series
-Colin Creevey: I Stalked Harry Potter
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Whiskey
-Harry Potter Falls Into Concussion After Draco Malfoy Asks Hermione Granger To Marry Him
-And the Sequel!-Ron Weasley Murdered Draco Malfoy After He Asked Hermione Granger To Marry Him
-Hermione Granger Fails the Sixth Year But Crabbe and Goyle Pass [Frederick Black]
-Harry Potter, Ron Weasley Is Jealous of You But Always Keeps His Mouth Shut and I Don't Think You Are
-Treating This Talented Kid With Enough Respect, He Already Has To Put Up With His Brothers
-Harry Potter Develops His Own Line of Hairspray [Frederick Black]
-Harry Potter and the Unnecessary Long Stupid Predictable Idiodic Stream Of A Title [Tiger8711]

S.P.E.W Meanings. In book 4 Hermione starts the Society for the Promotion of Elvish Welfare. Here are what some fans of Unofficial Emma Watson think SPEW means to them!

-Speak Proper English Willya?!
-Start Preparing for the End of the World
-Selling Pages of Erasable Writing
-Society of Places to Eat Well
-Sell Perfume for Emma Watson
-Say Pronouns for Elderly Women
-Stop Preventing Every Wizard
-Singing Properly Every Word
-Smiling Prettily Each Week

And Finally- Some funny excerpts from the Books (Thanks to Mugglenet)

-"Oh, are you a prefect Percy? You should have said something we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, Once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"
-Fred and George Weasley

"We tried to shut him (Percy) in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us."
- George Weasley

"What would we want to be prefects for?" Said George looking revolted at the very idea. "It'd take all the fun out of life."
- George Weasley

Percy had what were possibly the least helpful words of comfort.
"They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be," he said seriously. "All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack alway's worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything."

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself."

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
"Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball"
-The Marauders Map

. "Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."
-Ron Weasley

"You seem to be drowning twice,"
-Hermione Granger

"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?"
-Ron Weasley

"You don't know how bizarre it is to see Goyle thinking." - Ron Weasley as Crabbe.


notice: Harry Potter Facts can not be credited in any way for the contents of this article, all entries were searched and selected by Chelsea and Kylie. Sources are added to the entries where credit is due.

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